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TITLE: L. P. M.
AUTHOR: J. STEWART BARNEY
EBOOK: E00542 (O'Briens Book Cellar)

[Illustration: "COUNT VON HEMELSTEIN," THE AMERICAN SAID LAZILY,
"I WAS JUST THINKING WHAT A STUNNING BOOK-COVER YOU WOULD
MAKE FOR A CHEAP NOVEL." Drawn by Clarence F. Underwood.]

L. P. M.

The End of the Great War

By
J. Stewart Barney

1915

With a Frontispiece by
Clarence F. Underwood

  _THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED_

  TO MY REAL FRIENDS, WHO MAY LOVE IT.
  WHILE THE OTHERS IT MAY BORE;
  TO MY ENEMIES, GOD BLESS THEM,
  THO' THEY SPLUTTER, MORE AND MORE.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER
     I.--THE MAN AND THE HOUR
    II.--THE ONE-MAN SECRET
   III.--CROSSING WITH ROYALTY
    IV.--THE FIRST REBUFF
     V.--ECHOES FROM THE WILHELMSTRASSE
    VI.--A RUSTY OLD CANNON-BALL
   VII.--DIPLOMACY WINS
  VIII.--THE SPY-DRIVEN TAXI
    IX.--BUCKINGHAM PALACE
     X.--HE MEETS THE KING
    XI.--THE DEIONIZER
   XII.--FIRST SHOW OF FORCE
  XIII.--"THE KING IS DEAD; LONG LIVE THE KING!"
   XIV.--THE ROYAL TEA-TABLE
    XV.--SURROUNDED BY SOLDIERS
   XVI.--A DINNER AT THE BRITZ
  XVII.--THE VOICE IN THE TELEPHONE
 XVIII.--IN THE HANDS OF THE GERMANS
   XIX.--THE GERMAN POINT OF VIEW
    XX.--GENERAL VON LICHTENSTEIN
   XXI.--HE INSTALLS HIS WIRELESS
  XXII.--KAFFEE KLATSCH
 XXIII.--THE TWO-WHEELED MYSTERY
  XXIV.--DER KAISER
   XXV.--THE MASQUERADER
  XXVI.--TWO REMARKABLE MEN
 XXVII.--ALL CARDS ON THE TABLE
XXVIII.--WHERE IS IT?
  XXIX.--THE DIFFERENCE OF THEIR STATIONS
   XXX.--THEY CALL FOR ASSISTANCE
  XXXI.--"SIT DOWN, YOU DOG!"
 XXXII.--L. P. M.
XXXIII.--YACHTING IN THE AIR
 XXXIV.--THE ULTIMATUM
  XXXV.--A LYING KING MAKES A NATION OF LIARS
 XXXVI.--THINK OF IT! WHY NOT?

L. P. M.

CHAPTER I

THE MAN AND THE HOUR

The Secretary of State, although he sought to maintain an air of
official reserve, showed that he was deeply impressed by what he had
just heard.

"Well, young man, you are certainly offering to undertake a pretty
large contract."

He smiled, and continued in a slightly rhetorical vein--the Secretary
was above all things first, last, and always an orator.

"In my many years of public life," he said, "I have often had occasion
to admire the dauntless spirit of our young men. But you have forced
me to the conclusion that even I, with all my confidence in their
power, have failed to realize how inevitably American initiative and
independence will demand recognition. It is a quality which our form
of government seems especially to foster and develop, and I glory
in it as perhaps the chief factor in our national greatness and
pre-eminence.

"In what other country, I ask you," he flung out an arm across the
great, flat-topped desk of state, "would a mere boy like yourself ever
conceive such a scheme, or have the incentive or opportunity to bring
it to perfection? And, having conceived and perfected it, in what
other country would he find the very heads of his Government so
accessible and ready to help him?"

The young man leaned forward. "Then am I to understand, Mr. Secretary,
that you are ready to help me?"

"Yes." He faced about and looked at his visitor in a glow of
enthusiasm. "Not only will I help you, but I will, so far as is
practicable, put behind you the power of this Administration.

"Doubtless the newspapers," his tone took on a tinge of ironic
resentment, "when they learn the broad character of the credentials
that I shall give you in order that you may meet the crowned heads of
Europe, will say that I am again lowering the dignity of my office.
But I consider, Mr. Edestone, that I am, in reality, giving more
dignity to my office by bringing it closer to and by placing it at
the services of, those from whose hands it first received its dignity,
the sovereign people. 'The master is greater than the servant'; and
to my mind you as a citizen are even more entitled to the aid and
co-operation of this Department than are its accredited envoys, our
ministers and ambassadors, who, like myself, are but your hired men."

His face lighted up with the memory of the many stirring campaigns
through which he had passed and his wonderful voice rang out,
responding to his will like a perfect musical instrument under the
touch of the artist.

"I tell you, sir," he declared, "I would rather be instrumental in
bringing to an end this cruel war which is now deluging the pages of
history with the heart's blood of the people, whose voices may now be
drowned in the roar of the 42-centimeter guns, but whose spirits will
unite in the black stench clouds which rise from the festered fields
of Flanders to descend upon the heads of those who by Divine Right
have murdered them,--I would rather be instrumental in bringing about
this result, than be President of the United States!"

He had risen, as he spoke, and had stepped from behind his desk to
give freer play to this burst of eloquence, but he now paused at the
entrance of a secretary for whom he had sent, and changing to that
quizzical drawl with which he had so often disarmed a hostile
audience, added, "And they do say that I am not without ambition in
that respect."

He turned then to the waiting secretary, and letting his hand drop on
Edestone's shoulder:

"Mr. Williams," he said, "this is Mr. John Fulton Edestone, of New
York, whose name is no doubt familiar to you. He is desirous of
meeting and discussing quite informally with the potentates of Europe,
a little matter which he thinks, and I more or less agree with him,
will be of decided interest to them."

He chuckled softly; then continued in a more serious tone: "Mr.
Edestone hopes, in short, with our assistance, to bring about not only
the end of the European war, but to realize my dream--Universal
Peace--and his plan, as he has outlined it to me, meets with my hearty
approval.

"I wish you to furnish him with the credentials from this Department
necessary to give him _entree_ anywhere abroad and protect him at
all times and under all circumstances.

"And, Mr. Williams," he halted the retiring subordinate, "when Mr.
Edestone's papers have been drawn, will you kindly bring them to me?
I wish to present them in person, and I know of no more appropriate
occasion than this afternoon, when I am to receive a delegation of
school children from the Southern Baptist Union and the Boy Scouts of
the Methodist Temperance League. I will be glad to have these young
Americans, as well as any others who may be calling to pay their
respects--not to me but to my office--hear what I have to say on
peace, patriotism, and grapes."

With the departure of the secretary he unbent slightly. "Well," he
smiled, "you cannot say, as did Ericsson with his monitor and Holland
with his submarine and the Wrights with their aeroplane, that you
could not get the support of your Government until it was too late. In
fact, my dear fellow, when I think of the obstacles so many inventors
have to contend with, it strikes me that you have had pretty easy
sailing."

"Perhaps," Edestone raised his eyebrows a trifle whimsically, "it has
not been so easy as you think, Mr. Secretary."

"Oh, I know, I know!" the other replied. "You still must admit that in
comparison with most men you have been singularly fortunate. You have
had great wealth, absolute freedom to develop your ideas as you saw
fit, and finally the influence to command an immediate hearing for
your claims. Do you know that perhaps you are the richest young man in
the world today? It is this which, I must confess, at first rather
prejudiced me against you."

Edestone laughed good-naturedly. "It is lucky that my photographs were
able to speak for me."

"Yes," the Secretary assented. "As you probably have recognized, I am
not a scientist, and all your formulae and explanations were about as
so much Greek to me, but those photographs of yours were most
convincing, and prove to me how simple are the greatest of
discoveries. I fancy," he added slyly, "that they will penetrate even
the intelligence of a monarch."

"Ah!" He rubbed his hands together. "I can imagine the chagrin and
fury of those war lords when they find themselves so unexpectedly
called to time, while your device is held over the nations like a
policeman's club, with America as its custodian. What a thought!

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